![]() ![]() ![]() Friendship satisfaction: How satisfied do you feel about the frequency of visiting with your friends?.Authenticity in relationships: How much of the “self” do you show to others-is your “outer self” very much the same as your “inner self”?.Reliable comfort: When you are deeply distressed, do you feel comforted in the ways you need?.Unconditional acceptance: Do you feel seen and loved for the person that you are?.The researchers found that there were four especially important personal supports that nourished moms: These findings were consistent across women with different levels of education (high school or college degrees). Moms who feel personally supported tend to feel less anxiety, depression, stress, and loneliness, and more life satisfaction and fulfillment. Rather, there is a consistently strong tie between moms’ well-being and their level of social support. The study’s findings dispute the perspective that mothers’ well-being is primarily driven by their investment in their children and their role as a mother. What helps moms to be well? In a 2015 study, Luthar and her colleague Lucia Ciciolla explored the keys that contribute to well-being in over 2,000 mothers (mostly married and white). “Mothers’ emotional responses to conflicting normative expectations are predominantly negative, and may even compromise mothers’ well-being,” explain the researchers. ![]() ![]() It’s no wonder why “ mom guilt” is so pervasive-mothers are asked to try to be all of these things all at once, and if they’re not successful, they’re often asked to try harder without support. The Happy Mother is content with her parenting role and how she is raising her child.The Public Mother reflects to the world that she is in control of her body, the way she parents, and her child.The Working Mother adjusts her work commitments so that they do not disrupt her family responsibilities.The Future-Oriented Mother uses her time and financial resources to provide a nurturing environment-like healthy foods, recreational activities, and stimulating educational opportunities-to secure her child’s successful development.The Present Mother is physically nearby and highly attentive to her child so that she knows what her child needs and wants.Great expectations on momsĪ recent study by Eva-Maria Schmidt and her colleagues looking at research over the past 20 years found that our society has five primary expectations about what makes a “good mother.” But, simultaneously, these expectations are often unattainable and overwhelming, and perpetuate inequities: As busy moms, we can support each other and take steps to get the mothering that we need ourselves. Instead of judgment and unreasonable expectations, what mothers need is support-from friends, partners, and community. What’s more, nearly half of moms say they feel judged about the way they parent their children by their own or their partner’s parents. From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being.Īccording to the recent “ Parenting in America Today” survey by Pew Research Center, about two-thirds of mothers find parenting harder than they thought it would be, and nearly half of moms say being a parent is tiring most or all of the time. ![]()
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